A Conversation with the Author

So, confession. I have been working on a novel. That's what most of my writing has been this semester, actually, for a while. But I haven't felt comfortable putting it online, because it's not done yet. Almost though. Anyhow, you know how writing sometimes gets away from you and you suddenly write yourself a question that you don't know the answer to, but now it is completely essential that you answer said question? Well, that's what had happened. And my characters are very pushy. So, I thought I'd ask them. The characters are Charlotte who is a Private detective who gets wrapped up in a branch of espionage that deals with magic and magic objects. The person who got her wrapped up in it is a character by the name of Blue Mage. That's right, Blue Mage. It isn't a good name. He's really good at his job but, lacks confidence. Hence the code name he thinks is cool. Don't worry, he'll learn. Orion is a British spy who was supposed to be a minor character around simply as a cliche. But, he had other plans. And then there is my big bad guy. Who now I know his name, but my roommate was laghing at me as I was having this conversation with these characters. They have quite a life of thier own. lives of their own? Here is is.


“Something’s different,” Charlotte said, looking purposefully around the room. “Something in this painting is different than it is actually here in the room.”
“What’s that?” the spy asked curiously.


“I don’t know,” charlotte said, “something’s different, maybe we should wait for the writer to figure it out.”
“Oh no,” said the author, “you got yourself into this mess, you’re going to get yourself out!!!!!!!”
“That seems like overkill on the exclamation points Kimberly.”
“Don’t talk back to me Miss thang. We’ve gotten along rather swimmingly up until this point, please do not make me angry, I am having a hard enough time being back at school without your ‘tude!
“Maybe I’m over reacting, you aren’t really being that bad, but come freaking on. Throw me a freaking bone. Please. You’re the observant one in this story, remember. I am the clueless author, you just decided to be really, really pushy. You know what the Brit is the same way. Oh my gosh, have you talked to him. He has plans for you. Just you know, fair warning. By the by.
“Okay, so, here’s the plan. You’ll find something strange that is in the painting, but not in real life. It is something that the killer was supposed to leave behind, perhaps metaphorical. That can happen upon occasion. Now, you don’t know the significance of it, but the Brit does, he’s there, but you don’t know it. When he saves you in Spain, and takes you to England, it is the thing that confirms that the big bad guy is sort of who he thinks the big bad guy is. And he knows where to find him, because he is the head of a business. That’s why you are going to the Roman Baths and the opera etc.
“Sorry about the brief freak out. It’s stressful being back in school.”
“It’s all right. We understand. Good luck.”
“Thank You Charlotte”
“Not a problem.”
“Who are you talking to Charlotte?” asked the spy.
“The author, you know, the voice of the narrative.”
“Oh, hi. How are you?”
“A little tired, a little stressed, but don’t worry, I have your story under control… sort of. Anywho, if we all work together, I think that we can make it through.”
“Thanks for those inspiring words.”
“You bet. Oh, and by the way. Don’t wine.”
“What?”
“Oh, I think that you know what I mean.”
“She’s right, you do,” Charlotte told the spy.
“That’s enough, that’s enough, can we get back to the story now?”
“Gladly.”

“P.s. Orion, Cara thinks you’re hot.”
“You think I’m hot too, don’t you?” Asked Orion.
“Don’t make me reduce your role. You’ve had a hard enough time pushing your charming Brit ways in in the first place, you are already on my list, don’t think that I don’t what you are planning. Oh, I KNOW!”
“Alright, alright, I’ll back off…for now.”



“I’ve got some things to say to you Mr Big bad guy.”
“Yes, what is it?”
“Who are you, what’s your plan and why don’t I even know your name?”
“Because you don’t need to know yet.”
“The heck I don’t! I’m the author, I’m the one sticking your story together.”
“Not very well then,, are you?”
“Excuse me?!”
“I’m just saying, you were supposed to finish this novel months ago. If you had, you’d already know who I am.”
“You’ve got some serious attitude. The Brit may drive me nuts, but at least I like him. Not a word Orion, I swear. I will give you side burns if I have to.”
“That’s an empty threat.”
“I said not a word, I’m talking to the big bad guy right now.”
“Right you are. Please continue, I want my suspicions confirmed.”
“You don’t want to tell me who he is, do you?”
“No. Sorry, but I think you’re doing a splendid job.”
“Why thank you.”
“Anything for you.”
“Kiss up.”
“But a sincere one. Excuse me.”
“You’re excused.”
“You know Miss Bennett, you are lucky that you are writing this story instead of staring in it. You wouldn’t last five minutes.”
“Look, I’ve tried to make you are really fun villain, I like fun villains, but some of your comments are kind of low blows. Let me remind you mr big bad guy that in the end I will be the one who figures out how to take you down. Charlotte and I. And I can and will take you down, because that’s how its going to be. Let me break it to you hunnybun, unlike the Brit, you can’t worm your way into winning. You loose, and it will be good. Not a cop out, not a little tinny winny ending that doesn’t make sense, but you will go down and it will be fabulous. I’m not just talking big, I will take you down a peg or two, and if you don’t believe me, just try me. I am smart, clever, and I’ve seen enough episodes of MacGyver and survivor man to get me through anything. So, while your sitting there listening to your opera , keep this in mind. Not only do I know it, I can sing it. Never mess with a diva. I’m on the move, and now, I’m angry, your days of villainy are numbered, and in the words of Cara, ‘I’m going to bring on the hurt’.”
“Oh, I’m shaking.”
“Let’s talk again after you loose, until then, remember, if you want your story to be told you will open up, or I’ll get a new big bad guy. You are only in one or two scenes and I’m not afraid to rewrite.”
“You wouldn’t.”
“Try me. Do you really want to find out? Remember the words of our good friend Shakespeare.”
“Hell hat not fury as a woman scorned?” said Orion.
“Very good.”
“You go girl.”
“Thank you Orion. By the way, you can’t pull that off.”
“I know.”
“Say something British.”
“Well done.”
“Thank you.”

“Charlotte, am I talented?”
“Of course you are. You thought me up. Thank you.”
“It’s been my pleasure. Let’s finish up your story!”
“And Heaven willing there will be a sequel.”
“Amen.”